I must confess, Hidarikiki no Eren is one of the most existentially brutal shows I’ve ever seen. Between nearly all the characters being unlikeable at the very least and the blunt force karmic trauma inflicted on them (not least by themselves) this show is neither easy to watch nor enjoyable most of the time. But it’s just as hard not to watch, that’s the thing. Because it – and the people who inhabit it – are awful in such recognizable ways. To say I had no idea what I was in for here is a massive understatement.

Having been largely absent for a few weeks, Kouichi is back as the revolving spotlight returns to him. And I find his story to be the most painful, because it’s the one that comes closest to familiar ground for me. I never had any desire to be an ad man (I couldn’t draw a bath anyway), but I must say – Eren the Southpaw makes the industry seem like an absolute living hell. And since the mangaka comes from it (and still works in it, in fact) I guess he’d know. Between the petty jealousy and the black company management and the soul-destroying hours, it’s hard to fathom why anyone would want to do it. Maybe it’s a sort of a drug thing, like cocaine or heroin.

Kouichi dreaming of Kamiya is not a good thing, obviously. I mean, for obvious reasons but also because Kamiya is a total douche himself (i just want to yank that stupid beanie down until his head pops through). He’s not worth it, he doesn’t give a shit about Kouichi’s welfare, and it’s only in comparison to a complete ghoul like Yanagi that his “leadership” looks tolerable. Yanagi is truly awful, but at least he makes no bones about it. He consistently berates and belittle his team, including his former boss whose job he weaseled his way into. But he saves his special venom for Kouichi, because he graduated from art college while Yanagi went to a lowly vocational school.

Micchan seems like a genuinely decent person, and that makes her stand out like a sore thumb in this cast. She escaped Kouichi’s fate when Kamiya abandoned them, but – unlike Kamiya – she never forgot their comradeship. She does her best to keep Kouichi from completely falling into despair, working with him on a side project to try and win an award (apparently a huge thing in that industry) and encouraging him to outlast his time with Yanagi. They do win one, in fact, and Kouichi shows enterprise in trying to establish his bona fides. But he’s taken the wrong lesson from her, basically trying to out-Yanagi Yanagi (which soon earns him the office nickname “Yanagi Jr.”.

Micchan even tries to help Kouichi by arranging a rapprochement with Kamiya, inviting him to a symposium at which Kouichi is on the panel. But that just turns into a pissing contest as the two idiots embrace the idea of some kind of challenge (which Kouichi will never win, anyway). Poor Micchan for wasting her time on this, but she has seen a different side to Kouichi and knows that at heart, he’s not a bad person. Or at least that was true at one time.

Some of these people I feel empathy with, others no. With Kouichi I do at least a little, because at some level I do think he’s decent – just a loser. And his frustration at knowing he lacks the one thing “stars” in his world must have – genius – is pretty universal. Plus he can’t catch a break. As bad as things are, now he has to deal with the human disaster Akari coming back into his life? And as sloppy seconds too, interviewing him for PR purposes because the one classmate she actually wanted to interview was unavailable and/or (overseas). With Kouichi no matter how bad things are, they always have the capacity to get worse.