We’ve really gone deep into a vibe mode these past two episodes of Ikoku Nikki. It takes guts to basically just show people having conversations for twenty minutes. And for the most part, these are not super-intense or anything. Not arguments, not confrontations, not litanies of life’s agonies. Just observations – people reflecting on what’s happening in their lives and trying to figure out who they are. Which, you know, is pretty much what life is most of the time. It’s just very few writers have figured out how compelling it is to watch.

There actually are some dramatic things happening here, but they’re sort of happening in slow-motion and (this is as truthy as it gets) the characters don’t realize it. Like, in the end it seems as if Makio and Michiko are going to be closer than Asa and Emiri. That’s ironic on so many levels – and boy, does my speculation that Michiko was going to be a big problem look off-target. But it’s also really sad, because teen friendships which once meant everything slowly coming apart is a sad thing. Asa is starting to accept it – positive but also sad. And there’s evidence (which was more speculation on my part) that she might “steal” Chichi from Emiri.

Asa is gearing up for her audition (on her mother’s birthday, as it turns out) and still trying to figure out this whole “standing out” thing. Michiko and Makio meet for lunch (at an “Itarian” restaurant, sigh) and it’s kind of heart-warming to see the ease that’s developed between them. Michiko says she’s glad Makio didn’t seek her out just after the tragedy, because it would be like seeing a ghost. Makio notes that that’s been happening to her less often. Clearly the idea that she and Minori could be alike bothers her, but Michiko reassures her that “only her face” resembles her sister.

Meanwhile, an unexpected lunch date is simultaneously (I think) taking place, as Touno-san runs into Shingo on the street. This goes pretty deep into issues of modern masculinity – “male-dominated rituals” is kind of a loaded phrase, but I think we know the sort of thing they’re talking about. It’s sadly ironic (so much of this episode is) that after three months we finally got an episode about men, and still basically nothing about Asa’s dad. Touno-san is a treasure trove of quirks and neuroses himself. Like, he can’t share food – which was a major problem with many of the aforementioned rituals.

Asa tried to corner Touno for advice, on a typically complicated Asa topic – how to find out what you want to be. He punted – “I don’t understand” – which Kasamichi-kun finds hilarious. He’s very good at projecting calm, but Shingo is playing a role like the rest of us. Asa isn’t just a sponge – she’s a mobile and proactive one. She’s constantly searching for life’s answers and in her mind, it’s only logical that if you want an answer you ask a question. Generally speaking whatever answers we do get come not from asking or even searching – they find us, not the other way around, But, well – she’s 15.

The problem is, Asa still believes adults have got it all figured out despite the evidence that most of us are just as confused as she is. She still thinks we stop saying “life is unfair” because it got fair, not because we gave up trying to fight that fact. And we don’t always realize the weight the things we say can carry with sponges like Asa. Makio has no recollection of her “it’s OK to lie in your diary” comment. None, and can’t even think of why she would have said it. But Asa took that to heart – it loomed huge in her thinking for an entire year. It colored the way she viewed her writing, and it planted huge doubts in her mind about her mother’s feelings about her. Be careful what you say (though there’s no way Makio would have known that, really).

Asa is learning that she has to find her own way, as Makio keeps pushing her to do. That she needs to water her loneliness, in case a flower blooms in the night. It doesn’t matter whether you’re an introvert or extrovert – your life is your path. This may be (IMHO) one of the few ways in which life is easier for introverts, because it’s easier for us to come to terms with that reality. When it comes to honoring her parents’ lives, it feels wrong to Asa to do it on the anniversary of their death. She suggests their birthdays – which happen to fall only three days apart. Makio is struck by the essential “rightness” of this. And the truth is, this is about Asa, not about her parents – whatever feels right to her is what matters.

Asa is making her own space – a symbolic act to be sure. She’s decorated the closet in Makio’s office to suit her tastes, and even if she can’t sleep in it she can still own it. And even as Emiri drifts out of her orbit like a comet might a planet, perhaps a new bond might be forming, Chichi hasn’t been back to school since her (understandable) freak-out. And the longer you stay away, the harder it is to go back. Maybe Asa can understand Chichi in a way that will make Chichi feel better about the burdens she’s carrying. And maybe for Asa, focusing on someone else’s problems instead of the unfairness of hers will be a healthy change.