I’ve been fascinated to watch the response to the first episode of Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu.  Though if I’m honest, “obsessed” is more accurate.  I know it’s better for me to stop caring so much about how many people love this series like I do – it’s enough to love it myself.  But I do care, whether I like it or not.  And I’m seeing a very similar pattern – so far – to the manga’s rollout.  The issue is whether anime fans will have the same patience as manga fans to stick around and eventually rate this as one of the best romcoms out there (which it is, and more).  I’m hopeful, but skeptical.

There’s an old saying about how no one who loves sausage should see how the sausage is made, and I think that applies to BokuYaba.  This, ultimately, is a story about how the sausage is made.  Or, less graphically, it’s not a series which starts when the characters roll off the assembly line – it’s the assembly line itself.  Puberty is messy.  Middle school (for most) is traumatic and frequently terrifying.  Sakurai Norio spares us none of that – she cuts no corners, takes no shortcuts.  These are her traumas, and Ichikawa Kyoutarou is her avatar.  And the anime isn’t sanitizing her vision at all, which I love and think is terribly brave.  But I do worry.

As for me, there’s no adjustment period, no slowly warming to the cast and premise.  Because I read the manga, yes, but more so because even with the manga I “got” BokuYaba right from the beginning.  It rings so true it hurts my ears.  Every scene, every incident, every intimate moment was like a knife to the gut.  We’re only two episodes into the anime and I was already on the brink of tears by the end of this week, just from the sheer authenticity and power of the writing.  And as I expected, the series lucked into the perfect situation with Shin-Ei and Akagi Hiroaki.  They “get it” too.  They know that if you tried to soften this series up and re-package it for easy consumption, it would collapse like a house of cards.

There has been a bit of reordering, but the anime is basically adapting the early chapters of the manga faithfully.  The bit with the candy (Neru Neru Neru Ne) is hilarious, and really highlights the ditzier side of Yamada’s personality.  She looks like an adult, she has a job, but she’s absolutely a child, with childish inclinations (and emotions).  Ichi is fascinated by this strange creature, who may as well be from another planet.  It falls very much in Ueshiba Riichi’s “girl as the giant robot” model – and there’s a definite element of that to this relationship, especially in the early stages.

This gap between who we project we are, who we think we are, and who we really are is very much at the heart of the series.  In junior high, when most of us are clueless about our own identity and obsessed with self-image, what chance to we have of making meaningful connections with other people?  Kyou’s self-image is obvious in his chuunibyou fantasies, and he’s the guy who gets boners at inopportune moments and can’t help ogling when he sees a girl’s body close up (hint: pretty much every straight guy in middle school is in that boat).  But he’s also the guy who dashes up to the home ec room to get a glass so Anna can finally get her Neru sorted out (though she manages to get her shit together before he gets back).

It’s worth noting that when Sakurai went to junior high, classrooms almost never had A/C (which includes heat) – it’s only in the past few years when that’s started to change.  So that whole business about fans and loitering outside the teachers room to leech aircon is very real.  The affair of the fan – again set in the library, the Mecca of this relationship – is another of those “giant robot” moments.  It’s Kobayashi Chihiro (Asai Ayaka) – Kyou refers to her as Yamada’s boyfriend – who’s the first to intrude on this private world for two (which Anna has already intruded on, when it was a solo).  She knows Anna well enough to coax her out from under the table (poor Ichi).  And to see that her friend has taken an interest in the strange, quiet boy always buried in a book.

Another important Anna satellite is Hara Honoka (Toyosaki Aki), the chubby girl baseball boy Kanzaki Kenta (Satou Gen) is into.  At culture festival time, Anna (who’s watched Ichi enough to know he’s good at art) drafts Kyou to help Hara out with the haunted house poster for Class 2-3.  His usual strategy during these events is to disappear into the woodwork, so this is literally Kyou being dragged out of his protective shell.  But he kind of likes having the chance to show off his knowledge (which is varied and considerable – he’s really smart), and it starting to realize he’s more comfortable around girls than boys.

This is another one of those rough, crude scenes Norio-sensei (and Akagi-sensei) just don’t shy away from.  Hara’s curves are a source of fascination, Kyou can’t deny this (or look away).  And Hara, kind as she is, openly expresses her envy for Anna’s slimness and height (it’s interesting that she feels okay confiding in Ichi).  Things take a dark turn when Hara writes Yamada’s name (among others) on the tombstones, and when Adachi Shou (Okamoto Nobuhiko) jumps on it as a chance to impress Yamada, Kyou takes the blame for it to protect Hara-san.  It’s the real Kyou sneaking out again, when his guard is down…

Anna’s apology is one of those fascinating moments, and it leaves Ichi totally mystified.  Why is she apologizing to him for Adachi’s rant?  Kyou’s thoughts are an open book for us, but Yamada’s are a mystery – just as they are to him.  Afterwards, Pickup-pai (as Ichi has dubbed Nanjou) shows up with wingmen to invite Anna to tour the festival.  Kyou tails them protectively, but in fact Anna’s own wingmen have it covered – they accompany her and form a protective phalanx between she and Nanjou.  It’s fascinating to watch Ichi, thirteen and bright as can be, see what happens when he starts to turn his powers of observation on the world around him.

Finally, we have the best map room scene since Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Anna – who breaks out of her friendship fortress as soon as she sees Kyou – goes with him into 2-1’s classroom to look at their “Our Town 80 Years Ago” map.  I can only describe this scene as “intimate”, because in emotional terms it absolutely is.  Ichi doesn’t really understand why but he gets that it’s a big deal.  A connection is forming here, and knowing the power of that at this age (and what’s to come) I can’t help but be moved by it.  The writing here is just so emotionally penetrating and subtle, some of the best adolescent character study in manga (much less anime).  It’s just the beginning, and I’m already wrecked.