Yeah, it was probably a pretty safe bet that you weren’t going to get an anime episode about defecation and depilatories from any other show. But that’s why (among other reasons) I love Uchuujin MuuMuu. Pretty much every itch this series scratches doesn’t get scratched by anything else. As TQ pointed out last week (in a rare MuuMuu comment) the manga is if anything more out there than the manga – I’ve read it and can confirm. But the anime is plenty weird for me, and the voice work here is pretty excellent across the board (and mostly lacking in big names).

The A-part here is indeed all about toilets, what we do with them, and what we do it with. To start with, Decimaru is freaked out because has stuck a box filled with strange crystals in front of him and keeps staring at him with a desperate expression. This is a litterbox of course, and if anything it’s striking that it’s taken Akihiro this long to buy one (and notice it wasn’t being used). Maru has no idea of any of this, being a creature who relies on photosynthesis. So it falls to MuuMuu to explain about “excretionists” and what they do (and why). In some detail, and Maru is understandably horrified. Almost as horrified as Sakurako when the two cats demand that she demonstrate for them post haste.

Unfortunately, Sakurako’s toilet explanation happens while Miwa is using one of the stalls in the ladies room where the lecture is taking place. Even in this highly disadvantageous situation she can’t help but want to lord her superior knowledge of toilets and their various forms and functions, and tells Sakurako to meet her at the school gate in 15 minutes. Why 15 minutes? Well, she has a problem. And apparently one-third of all Japanese have this problem. Deciding to lecture on all this Akihiro’s house under these circumstances was a seriously misguided decision to begin with, and it ends predictably poorly for Miwa-san.

Well, as usual I learned a lot about modern technology here, and I’d really love one of those tankless toilets. Fortunately I do at least have a washlet, eponymous in Japan (the one-third thing). As for Maru, he’s relieved that Akihiro wasn’t going into that little room every day for some kind or religious ritual (we do refer to it as “the porcelain God” on hangover days). But now he has the problem of convincing Akihiro there’s nothing wrong with his digestive system, which involves the manufacture of fake cat poop (of astonishing size). That does the trick, and Akihiro weeps tears of joy at the sight of it.

Next up, hair. And the issue of removing it, one women have to wrestle with to conform to societal expectations in most first world countries. Sakurako goes the old-school route – she shaves – which MuuMuu finds rather horrifying in terms of what it does to her skin. There are indeed other methods – lasers and such – but she’s too embarrassed to talk to anyone about them. So MuuMuu helpfully goes down the corridor and fetches Nozomi-san the drunk salarywoman (who’s drunk). Turns out she has all kinds of stuff – most of which she’s never used and all of which she doesn’t understand. She just uses an electric shaver – and quite graphically too, right in front of MuuMuu and Sakurako – and is quite happy with it.

Sakurako winds up getting a free trial of all Nozomi’s swag, on the condition that she reports back on what works and what doesn’t. Too embarrassed to go to Tenkubashi this time she asks Miwa, who’s naturally well-versed in all the options. The vast majority of which, she declares, are “spiritual home appliances” – i.e. scams. There’s too much variation from body to body for most of these gadgets to be practical, though she concedes that burning the hair follicles away with concentrated light is pretty effective. That’s sort of like a laser, though not quite – even if it does work on the same general principle.

All this talk of lasers, however, does spark a memory in MuuMuu – the technology was in use as a weapon on his home planet. Now he figures he can charge his ship via long-distance laser charging from the mothership – the sort  of technology humans might use in the future, he says. But this doesn’t work (apart from as a depilatory for MuuMuu) so it’s back on the power grid. The attempt, however, does seem to have set something in motion on the moon (and that something is the recurring plot, among other things, which tends to take a backseat most of the time).