My God, what an utter and complete debacle.
I’m on the horns of a dilemma I never like to be on here, where my only choices are seemingly to write a complete hatchet piece (which I hate) or just blow off covering a series I’ve been covering for 8 seasons. It’s that old mom “If you can’t say anything nice” advice, just in time for Mother’s Day. But honestly, I don’t think I’m going to be able to say anything nice.
The gist of it is, the butchery job Benioff and Weiss have done on A Song of Ice and Fire is complete (it’s a good thing Rian Johnson and Abrams have already killed any feelings I had for Star Wars, or I’d be sickened at the prospect of what B & W will do to that). What strikes me here is that even if you pretty much know a disaster like this is coming, that doesn’t really dull the pain all that much. There was so much promise here once upon a time, but that’s all broken and crushed to dust now.
And the thing is, I did know this was coming. While there were some excellent moments in the first two episodes of the season, as hard as I tried I could see no path forward for the story from where Game of Thrones had left it coming into this week. There truly seemed to be no way out, but the sheer degree of awfulness – the comprehensiveness of ruination (and I don’t mean King’s Landing) – is still shocking. There was really no corner of the story that the series hasn’t totally got wrong, completely fucked up – from the largest arcs to the smallest, they’re all a shambles. The ones who died in the first four seasons were the lucky ones.
What’s impressive is that Benoiff and Weiss have managed both to make me hate pretty much every major character who has a direct role in the events here, and to kill any rooting interest I have for the finale. I don’t care what happens next week – there’s no one who realistically could sit on the throne that I’d care to see sit on it. Nothing could vindicate Tyrion or Jon Snow for the utter idiocy they’ve displayed in getting us to this point. And who give a flip whether Cersei and Jaime are alive or not? Yeah Cersei’s death would be pretty anti-climactic if that’s how she goes, but who cares?
In terms of good arcs ruined, Jaime’s would be right up there. There’s so much potential in his storyline that he’s actually managed to break through multiple attempts to ruin it, but B & W finally managed to finish the job here. Does that top the hatchet job they did on Tyrion, turning him into a traitor and possibly the stupidest man in the realm? That’s a big ask, because he was the standout character in the series for a long time, but the brothers Lannister can both make a pretty strong case for the top spot.
As for Daenerys, I don’t consider her going mad queen to be as grievous a betrayal because I thought her character and arc were a bit of a howler from the beginning (including in the books). More than her turning into what she has, what I hate is that the worst major character in the story has become the story in the end, as I always feared it might. Her utter devastation of King’s Landing does serve as a powerful unintended metaphor for what she’s done to the story a whole – all the themes that Martin set up, all the characters and their stories, all the subtlety and grace, it’s all crushed under the weight of this terrible plotline.
If I have to stretch, the Clegane Bowl wasn’t a disaster at least. And Jaime and Tyrion’s farewell scene wasn’t as bad as it could have been given the context in which it was taking place. But apart from that, it’s all a clean whiff as far as I’m concerned – an unmitigated fiasco. As I said, I’m finding it hard to muster any reason to care about the finale. Jon deserves anything he gets at this point, as does Tyrion. Sansa is no innocent in all this, having betrayed Jon’s trust literally moments after he extended it. I suppose she’ll rule the North one way or the other, but given the way Arya and Bran’s arcs have pretty well jumped the shark too, I don’t care that much. That’s the saddest part about this for me, being robbed of a reason to care about a story I once cared deeply about.
Arabesque
May 13, 2019 at 9:38 pmwait … is this episode seriously titled “The Bells” or are you just throwing shade at how absurd how that was what made Dany snap and burn her capital city to the ground?
So, is Dany a decedent of Pavlov’s Dog or …?
I have no idea what to say about any of this. I always assumed Cleganebowl to have been this in-joke of the larger fandom, a crazy what-if fan theory from the books people liked to joke about happening between themselves because it was such a ridiculous thing to watch unfold, that fitted more in wrestling than in this series.
But here it is, played 100% straight like a goddamn headline fight! I mean, it was a well directed fight, and kudos to Rory McCann for his fantastic performance.
Really kudos to all the actors for all their performances. I think that regardless of ones feeling about the character herself, Emilia Clarke really sold it this episode. Dinklage, Headey and Coster-Waldau were all fantastic (really, I would argue that this stage, the Lannister side got the best picks for their actors over the Starks once you factor in Dance and Eugene Simon as well).
Shout out to Pilou Asbæk. The dude was really shafted by how the writers decided Euron should be this cartoon villain instead of how he should have been.
Man … this is really the bummer about it. The production of the show had never been better. This is the best any TV show *could* ever look, it is the best any TV show could sound, the cast is filled with talent that ranges from the good to the truly exceptional, and the actors are giving it their all in how the attempt to sell this shit script. The direction is also fantastic and should be studied as being truly top class …
But it’s all dragged down by the writing. Like holy fuck, who asked for any of this …
Guardian Enzo
May 13, 2019 at 10:04 pmEmilia Clarke has gotten better, but I still think she’s a weak link in an otherwise very strong cast. Though in a sense, it hurts that much more to see really good actors laid low by material like this.
As to the production, I agree that was very good here but honestly, “The Long Night” wasn’t all that for me. It was really inexcusable to spend that kind of coin and have an episode basically be too dark to watch.
Arabesque
May 13, 2019 at 10:51 pmIt really is aggravating that the moment she had shown the greatest improvement and gave the best performance she had in the series, the writing completely fails her. The ones who hurt the most to see the writing take a shit over their performance are Dinklage and Coster-Waldau, given that some of the earliest highlights in the show involve them.
In regard to The Long Night specifically, I think I will withhold judgment in regard to how much of a mistake or not the choice to film it in the dark once the BD are out and its not subject to the bad encoding that ended up crushing the blacks and making it look worse than it should have looked. I feel it would look amazing on a properly calibrated screen (the parts that are properly lit, such as the Dragon Battle, already do) but I do definitely think they should have filmed it with the thought that most people would have a hard time seeing what’s going on.
The Long Night’s issue, IMO, is that as this series comes to a close, both it as an episode and the whole plot thread of the White Walkers and the Army of the Dead had ended up being pointless. Which once again is another case of a potentially great aspect of the series brought low due to the writing decisions.
Guardian Enzo
May 13, 2019 at 11:04 pmThe narrative flaws of The Long Night are a matter for another discussion, abundant as they are. I’m just talking production here.
I don’t feel the need to withhold judgement until the blu-rays, because if the ep looks terrible unless you’re watching it on BD it’s already a fail in my book. Shoot it so it’ll look right the way the vast majority of people will watch it. And don’t blame them (as the cinematographer did) for not having properly calibrated TVs.
dracarys
May 13, 2019 at 9:41 pmAmen, man. Benioff and Weiss deserve some dracarys up their arses for completely scorching all potential that was still left in this story in a single episode. This was truly spectacularly unintelligent.
Orin
May 13, 2019 at 11:56 pmThis is truly disgusting. I tried to lower my expectations of this season as much as possible, but B&W still managed to disappoint me. I feel bad for Dinklage and Coster-Waldau. I wonder what they think about what their character have become.
And I’m glad you didn’t comment on what happened with Varys. Some things are better left unsaid.
Guardian Enzo
May 14, 2019 at 6:17 amWell, I pretty much commented on it last week when I said it was going to happen. But what hurts is that it was Tyrion that shoved the knife into his back.
janixjani
May 14, 2019 at 12:34 amThis is actually quite funny for me, because I thought for the longest that you were a little too hard on GOT especially with this last season…. and then this happens. As I was watching I was like Enzo was right all along LOL. So I will confess I haven’t read any of the books but people online were saying they’ve been setting Dany up for this for a while so its not a surprise, but I still don’t like how it happened, to me, it still felt way to rushed but we only have 6 episodes. Didn’t understand Euron showing up to fight jamie… like why?!?! Also the character developments that they just threw out the window with both Lannister brothers I just don’t understand. Sigh I’m so with you on this Enzo, I literally don’t care to see what happens next week either, but I will watch because I’ve already given this 8 years of my life, so here’s to the last episode!! I hope you all have your favorite alcohol of choice ready!
Yann
May 14, 2019 at 1:44 amBut… Tell us how you really feel? 😀
I didn’t think it could get worse than last week, but I now know better than underestimating those two.
What a complete utter cluster fuck…
I guess the big twist will be that Tyrion orchestrated everything in the background or something. Who cares. I’m kinda playing with the idea of never watching the last episode…
Guardian Enzo
May 14, 2019 at 6:17 amI can’t not watch at this point, not after 8 seasons. But it’s going to be a detached experience.
Marty
May 14, 2019 at 6:23 amSo, what exactly was the point of Danny’s time in Essos? At first I thought it was to teach her how to be a proper ruler, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Did Jorah and Ser Barriston really die for her to just go around and burn King’s Landing?
What was the point of hyping up the Golden Company and the Lannister army? For them to just get pulverized?
I know a lot of modern audiences like to harp The Lord of the Rings (books and movies) for their traditional storytelling within fantasy epics, but at least they felt both consistent within their own mythology and satisfying.
But seriously though, I don’t like people referring to Danny as “The Mad Queen,” this isn’t madness, this isn’t insanity, this is sadism, plain and simple. She burned that city with the clear-minded intent of making people suffer.
Guardian Enzo
May 14, 2019 at 6:43 amWhat was the point of any of it? The series adapted a bunch of material that was building towards something, then veered off in a completely superficial direction that ignored all of it.
And yes, it’s sadism. It’s petty cruelty. And that Tyrion willingly enabled it (and Jon too, for that matter) with so much sheer naiveté and stupidity is incredibly galling.
GC
May 14, 2019 at 6:56 amShe kept saying she wanted to be a better Queen and in one episode she flipped 180 degrees and became her Father all over (The Mad Queen). Guess Jon or Arya are gonna have to put her down next week. For sure her next move will be to go after Winterfell/Sansa.
Simone
May 16, 2019 at 5:21 pmYeah, the thing that confuses me is, it would have been absolutely believable of her to slaughter innocents who resisted. She’s known to not be kind to those who refuse to submit to her rule. That’s still a pretty cruel thing to do. But they had to go over-the-top and have her strafe roads full of civilians in a city that already surrendered because… they were accomplices to Cersei? I guess? She wanted them to rebel and they didn’t? Or something.
Guardian Enzo
May 16, 2019 at 5:45 pm“Game of Thrones Season 8: Or Something”
Kurik
May 14, 2019 at 6:55 amCan’t believe we have come to this. I felt hollow watching this episode and I did two things I have never done before watching a GoT episode….I paused to check my phone and then another time I didn’t pause – I just used my phone to send messages while it was going on – things I used to consider blasphemy (along with ppl talking during episode)!
I didn’t enjoy this episode. There were no saving graces here even if I liked the Arya/Hound moment and Hound/Mountain visuals. I don’t know what else to say. Apathy has seeped into my soul now. Let it just be over like the last Star Wars. I can easily say Breaking Bad was and stil remains the best darn tele I have watched from beginning to end. GoT had a chance to surpass it but failed along the way and worst lost itself along the way.
Guardian Enzo
May 14, 2019 at 7:31 amHeh, me too. There were a couple of times where I was just so disgusted I went to check email or do something in the kitchen. Definitely a first for me with Thrones.
Dein
May 14, 2019 at 7:08 amJon always annoyed me as a character, and moreso because he seemed to have so much focus thrown at him (I don’t know if this was the shows quirk, of be design from Martin himself in the books) while being kinda singleminded and two dimensional. He was almost like a projection from the writer, a poorly-developed D&D persona for the creator to get his rock off. Ever stoic, ever selfless. No matter the situation, I have my sword, my goatee and my husky voice. Too humble to accept praise or reward, too dark and brooding to accept his Very Great Fate. And also the best fighter the realm has ever seen! Groan… But seeing him for the billionth time, walking around in the wake of one his stupid choices and being just… dumbfounded. Shots upon shots of his face in utter shock and confusion. Like all of this just came out of left field and there were no warning signs. “How could this be?! She’s MY QUEEN!” It was like watching a parody bit.
What Jaime and especially Tyrion turned into is just a massive bummer, I don’t know how else to put it. No clue what’s gonna happen in the last episode and I don’t know how anyone could care. I never watched that show, but it makes me wonder if this is how Lost fans felt after the finale?
Guardian Enzo
May 14, 2019 at 7:30 amYou’re not the first person I’ve heard make that observation today, but I never liked Lost enough to stick around to the end so I can’t say.
Stöt
May 14, 2019 at 9:18 am•Thanks for this review, that mom was wrong, this is much more entertaining to read. I didn’t like this episode, but the worst part was that it made the last episode even worse. I was sure people were misreading Jaime, he wouldn’t betray his storyline out of the blue like that. I was sure of many things going into season 8. DnD pissed all over that in order to subvert expectations.
•If Dany thinks everybody is disloyal and loves Jon, the logical step is to kill Jon, the only rival to her claim, I guess. I’m totally done with Jon now though, I don’t care.
•Ugh, I hope I don’t have to see Bronn again. I hate that DnD made room in the plot for him this season. He’s another character that really wore out his welcome for me.
•So far, the only one relevant & left alive that has stayed true to their character is… Sansa maybe? Qyburn was the reigning champion until he bumped his head.
•Top 2 anime betrayals: 1. Dany “kinda forgetting about Euron’s fleet”. 2. Jaime saying he never cared about the people at Kings Landing, when you think about why he even became the Kingslayer in the first place.
hito
May 14, 2019 at 9:33 amI’m with you in that Dany going mad queen is a fine plot choice but it was just absolutely bungled execution. We know that Dany would be a bad ruler precisely because she’s impetuous and dismissive when faced with obstacles. So she goes evil because she…got everything she ever wanted? A lifetime salivating over a birthright she’s never seen, and then she blows it up because she’s so mad she’s being accepted as queen by the bells of surrender?
Since this blog is my safe space to compare GoT to HxH – remember the end of HxH 109, when it goes around to everyone in the mansion and shares what they’re all thinking about on the eve of the invasion? I feel like that more than anything is what we’re really feeling the absence of. Are there any thoughts you could even imagine being in these fucking heads? Is Dany just “I’M MAD :< :<" and Jon "MY QUEEN 😀 :D" and Jamie "SEEING THAT KID I CRIPPLED MADE ME TRANSPORT BACK IN TIME MENTALLY TO WHEN I DID IT AND NOW I WANNA BONE MY GENOCIDIN' SISTER AGAIN"? Like yeah 'show, don't tell' is a thing but if you want to focus on extreme changes in a characters mental state during a tense situation you could really use a bit of telling, my dudes
bnbros
May 14, 2019 at 3:44 pmI feel Dany’s sanity slippage would look more fitting if it happened in a different scenario like taking on King’s Landing head-on and her forces are slowly getting overwhelmed with victory not close in sight.
Not like this when victory is practically served to her after wiping out the Golden Company and the Iron Fleet. This just makes her look more petty than anything.
Scampi
May 16, 2019 at 2:25 amhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EA7UQOYskas the actors know.
Guardian Enzo
May 16, 2019 at 5:47 amWOW
Akka
May 16, 2019 at 3:53 amI actually stopped during the episode to vent my “what the f*** is happening, this episode is just stupid”. And then eat a bit. And then watched the rest while often rolling my eyes while saying calmly “well, that’s just BAD. Not disappointing, plain BAD”.
They really trashed the serie here.